adventures in karaoke

I had prepared to blog earlier, because I know that some members of my audience (ironically those who also experienced it, i.e. Anna) are dying to read about my karaoke experience last night. Then the phone rang. It's great that that happened because in the process of fidgeting (I do that when I talk period, let alone on the phone), I fixed my computer's sound problem. Which means I can be blissfully happy, bopping to music, as I write about this rather interesting experience--sort of helps with the vibe since that's what karaoke is about.

I had never seen karaoke live before last night. Sure I've seen it in the movies so I was familiar with how it works, but there really is a whole culture around this. I was very psyched to go and do it. Anna and Mike invited me out, and I hopped in the car (for the mindblowing mile drive...sad I know, but it's actually harder to walk to the place than that mile sounds).

I looked through the book, and while I was initially determined to do a New Wave tune, I settled on Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love." When my turn was called, I got up there and realized I don't know the first part of the song, but I was told that didn't come off too horribly. So I'm grooving, moving my hips to the music as I sing when a guy starts grinding up against me, basically freak dancing. I'm convinced it's Mike teasing me until the guy lifts his shirt over my head. I'm sort of in shock and don't really know how to react, I continue to sing, but I guess he thought I was giving him the cold shoulder (or ass, as the case may be) and stops.

Once I finish I return to my station to figure out who it was. Anna points him out, urges me to talk to him, but I have no idea what to say. He was cute, but as I would find out, drunk and only going to get drunker. So I go over there to talk to him, but as I put my hand on his back to get his attention, he starts humping this girl at the bar. I figure that's it, no big deal. But after some time passes, he keeps looking back at me and the various guys he talks to do the same. I'm told, "They're totally checking you out!" "Yeah, well, why don't they come over here?" I'm told I'm supposed to buy him a drink. Hell no I'm not buying him a drink! Mike decides he wants to intervene and buy the drink on my behalf (he caught a garter full of cash at a wedding earlier that day and seemed determined to spend it all there). I didn't think he should, but Anna tells me to let it happen. Well, it happens, he comes over, hugs me a few times, but I think there's some freaking out over the etiquette of who is buying and who is paying for the drink--or perhaps he really had no interest in me whatsoever. I'm totally fine with that. I figure that's the case, and I'm just thrilled I had this experience. In general I had a great time singing along, watching people. Karaoke is so much fun!

Out of nowhere my "fan" appears, on his way out of the bar. He pins me against the wall and starts to rub against me again (this time facing one another), and somehow I remember it as him humping my leg (at least that's how I described it to Allie on the phone this morning). I was in shock again and probably should have pushed him away (especially after I lost my balance a couple of times--and I didn't have a drop of alcohol!), but I didn't think it was going to last very long. It definitely lasted longer than any of us anticipated. I was also convinced he was going to grap my tits, but he didn't. He probably had a good enough view. And just before we separated, we rubbed cheeks and I got a peck.

I still don't know what to make of the situation. Allie says I was sexually assaulted! Nah, I live for such cheap thrills. They certainly do wonders for the self esteem.